The People You Meet in College

Hello blog, it’s been way too long.  So much has happened since the last time I wrote back in June.  I have been horrible about keeping up with my entries, but I guess my intention with this blog was all about personal growth anyway, and that is what I have achieved (to some extent). 

During my time in college thus far, I have met and interacted with many different people, some playing a crucial role in my life, while some I simply meet in passing. However, one thing they all have in common is that it seems as though they fulfill an archetype, a role that can be deeper understood as someone that inevitably contributes to my development as a person, whether in a positive or negative manner. I am sharing this because I believe many people are able to relate to these characters, as they are universal in their meaning.  

I want to preface by saying that all of the following archetypes and situations are based on real people that I have come across in my almost two years at K college, yet I will not be using any names.  One purpose of this is to make this less personal.  Another reason is because I want you, the reader, to ponder the meaning of these archetypes and think of who embodies each of these roles in your own life, specifically, your college experience. 

The Best Friend

I will begin with the most common yet most important person you meet in college, your best friend.  This person is the one with whom you immediately click from the start. As cliche as it sounds, this person completes you.  You may completely juxtapose each other in your personalities, but you are similar where it counts. They help to showcase a better side of you while you push them to reach their full potential as well. Personally, my best friend allows me to be spontaneous, always seizing the day and loving every day to its fullest.  Since meeting her, she has breathed a new life into me that I never thought I would ever have. Growing up, I never had this type of friend that completed me the way she does, especially once my hometown friends and I parted ways to go to our own colleges.  She is kind and gentle, yet wild and silly. I should have titled this archetype, “the friend soulmate”, because this is the type of friendship that sets your soul on fire in the best way possible.  I could not live without her and I am the best version of myself because of her friendship.  If you find this type of person, never let them go, as this is one of the most valuable relationships you will ever form. Be vulnerable and let an incredible friendship blossom the way I did with my best friend.

The Kid from Class

Next up on our list of people you meet in college is the kid from class.  It begins with the first day of class, analyzing the different people that are accompanying you along the ride for the next 10 weeks. You try to gain your best read by looking them up and down, observing how they participate in class, and stealing glances here and there. The best moments with these people are when you make subtle eye contact in reaction to something the professor said; you seem to almost read each other’s minds.  You might snicker under your breath or sneakily mouth some words to each other in mutual understanding. These bonds are some of the strongest you'll make, as you realize you both are simply students trying to make your way through tough classes. These are important allies, believe it or not.  It begins with a simple look from across the room, then evolves into studying together, seeing each other around on campus and helping to support each other through the journey that is college. These may turn into friends, or they may remain only colleagues in class.  Whatever the extent of these relationships, they help to alleviate the stress and make things a bit more bearable with either comedic relief or even just a friendly smile. Cherish these people, as they will make you feel less alone during your journey.   

The Antagonist (student)

During your college experience, there will come a time when you meet someone that just does not brighten your days, rather the contrary.  This person will challenge everything you say and will attempt to recruit others to gang up on you in order to make you feel more insecure or push you to back-down from an argument. It is important to keep in mind that these comments are simply a projection of their own insecurities.  I personally have found this person, them being the opposite gender making it even more comical.  For all my women out there, men will try and tear you down by mocking you and trying to make you feel less-than.  Especially pursuing a major in a male-dominated field, I come across this regularly (mostly from one person, but I digress…). The most imperative part of how you carry yourself in these situations is never changing despite how this person makes you feel. Their comments only make you stronger, as they help you to be unapologetically yourself in everything you do.  The most satisfying part of it all is when you can see firsthand when karma bites them in the ass. When you are the bigger person, you can sit back and watch them reap what they sow. There is simply no reason to be so belligerent in a college class, but when a woman is right about something that a man has done incorrectly, men will surprise you sometimes. 

The Antagonist (professor)

Believe it or not, you may encounter the professor version of the previously mentioned archetype as well.  This one, at least for me, came as a surprise.  Aren’t professors supposed to support you in your endeavors and provide helpful support and resources to you? Unfortunately, some just do not live up to those expectations.  Newsflash: some people in life just are not going to like you.  Even if you do everything right, professors are humans too, and bias is bias, it is hard to ignore.  I had this experience recently; it felt like no matter what I did, I was not up to the standards that this professor held for me. Backhanded compliments upset me more than I want to admit, and I found myself broken up about someone that should not have had as big of an impact on my happiness as they did. You are more than your grades, you are more than your participation in class, and you are more than what any professor thinks of you.  As I stated previously with the antagonistic student, the antagonistic professor is a bit harder to navigate, as they have authority over you in an inevitable way.  However, although tangibly they can control you with the silly social construct of grades, they cannot change who you are or who you will go on to be if you do not let them.  Be yourself, and if someone of authority does not like you, leave them in the dust and let them watch you succeed without their guidance. 

The Mentor

On the contrary, you will meet professors and faculty members that help to brighten your light and recognize your talents.  I have had the most enriching conversations with mentors that I have met in college. In opposition to the aforementioned antagonistic professor, these people use their authority to give opportunities to students and enhance their education rather than beating them down and stifling their passions. These professors will appreciate you for who you are and will not hold silly grudges and make hurtful comments.  These are the people that truly deserve their position and do not take advantage of the power they hold.  At this level, professors can even become your friends, treating you like an equal instead of looking down on you with a condescending and patronizing edge.  Finding these mentors in your own life is so incredibly integral to your growth as a student and a contributing member of society.   

The Roommate(s)

I will now describe the dynamic of the roommate relationship.  This person (or people) are there for you at your best and your worst.  They wake up with you in the morning as you get ready for class, and are then there for you when you return home after a long, grueling day of being a student. Sometimes, at least in my experience, you will find yourself on the same wavelength, manifesting itself in the form of a brief dance break in your room or a duet to Sam Smith, belting out the verses even though your voices crack and you get out of breath.  Having a roommate is late night talks when you both have no business being awake, but you wander off on tangent after tangent; it is watching movies and providing silly yet thoughtful commentary; it is eating dinner together and debriefing your days; and it is having a support system under the same roof that is not your parents. My roommates give me a sense of belonging that is more personal and exclusive than other groups at school.  You are connected at one of the deepest levels, sharing a space where you all will be vulnerable at some point, and loving each other through it all despite it. 

The New You

Ultimately, you will meet a person that will be with you for the rest of your life; this person is yourself; rather, the new you.  This is not to say that your personality will change drastically when you enter this stage of your life, but you will discover facets of yourself that you never knew existed in past phases of your life. You might begin to feel as though you do not fit in with groups from your past, and that is okay.  Outgrowing certain parts of your life is healthy and an indicator that you are constantly evolving and adapting to your current situation rather than holding onto the past.  It is okay to revisit parts of “the old you” that help to ground you in the root of yourself. However, moving on and surrounding yourself with new people and opportunities is beneficial on the road to finding your true self. The most satisfying feeling is reconnecting with people from your past and watching them notice that you have evolved as a person.  Maybe you have become smarter, more enlightened.  Maybe you are trying new things and are more adventurous than before.  Maybe you even have a clearer view of what you want to make of your life. Whatever it is, when others observe that you have changed, more specifically, improved as a person, you know that you are one step closer to finding the real you that you have always aspired to be.  Love every version of yourself, and love the people that help you along the way in the lifelong journey of realizing your purpose. 

As always, thank you for taking the time to read.

With love,

Ava Jean