The One Where Ava Rants About Feminism

The other day an incredibly discouraging comment was made to me in regards to my future plans, something in which I take great pride. Telling an 18 year old woman to “marry for money” and insisting that her high-reaching dreams are unattainable is the epitome of everything that is wrong with society in a single sentence.

First of all, I am 100% the worst person to whom this type of comment could be made. Being an outspoken advocate for gender equality, I am quick to address the pitfalls with which women are faced every single day.

We are told that “women are already treated equally” and “feminism is useless and only for man-haters”.

I beg to differ.

Clearly there is a need for more passionate feminists in this world to combat toxicity like the person that made this comment. Even worse, this person has been upfront previously as to label themself a feminist!

Which brings me to my next point: there is a significant difference between those who think social movements are trendy, and those who actually practice what they preach. The first step towards making a change in your community is filtering your vocabulary and making an effort to be more sensitive when talking about certain issues. Therefore, definitely check yourself before you decide to tarnish the idea of the dreams which others have already begun striving towards. To some, long term goals such as an ideal career can appear as though the dreamer is seeing life through rose-colored lenses, not considering possible obstacles which they may encounter along the way. The truth is, I know my big dreams won’t come easily to me, and that I will have to work hard every day until then if I want to make them a reality. However, the harsh and inconsiderate words of others only serve as a reminder to prove them wrong and do everything they say isn’t possible.

As for the comment about “marrying for money”... I genuinely find satire in that statement. Forgive me, but I can’t recall the part where I was living the plot of Pride and Prejudice. My professional/economic success in life will not be dependent upon anyone except me, myself, and I. I have equipped myself with the tools which I will need to thrive in the real world, and nobody will ever be able to dispute the work ethic which I possess, and the time and effort which I am willing to put forth to pave the way for my own happiness.

I actually find it quite amusing that this person took time out of their day for the sole act of criticizing my post-high school plans. I am not personally offended by this comment, as it is only a reflection of their true character and a telling sign that they obviously are unhappy with their own life, something I hope they are able to resolve very soon. I find it flattering, actually, that people get so intimidated by a woman that is so sure of herself and her goals in life. We need more of that in this world.

I am unsure as to what the future holds for me. Life has a crazy way of throwing curveballs and changing its direction in the blink of an eye. However, one thing I do know for certain, is that I will do what makes me feel fulfilled.

I have a message board in my room that leans against the mirror on my dresser. On it, I have 4 simple words: “Do it for you”. This is my daily reminder that I am the only one that can provide myself concrete, long- lasting happiness, so as not to rely on anything that could possibly get in the way of my dreams. This is not me being selfish or inconsiderate of others; I simply know that the only way I can be the best version of myself for those around me is if I am reaching my own goals first, and working on my personal growth so I can be present in the moment for the people in my life that I care about.

Now that I have emptied all of the rage that has filled my body since hearing that absurd comment, I want to conclude with a few simple words which I hope you all take away as the core message of this post. Women can do anything men can do. Coming off of the year 2020, during which we saw the election of the first female Vice President of the United States, this statement is more impactful now than ever before. Change is being made, and I am proud to say that I am a part of the generation that is vocalizing the female empowerment of which this world is incredibly starved.

Thank you for reading,

Ava Jean :)